Sunday, October 23, 2011

Parenting dilemma

"Wow, you got A+ in this paper!"
"Is that good?"

"Oh, it's wonderful. It means you know the subject very well."
"What about these two?"

"Let's see now...This is a 'B' and this is a 'C'."
"Is that bad?"

"No... it just means you know it alright, but if we work on it a bit more, we can make it A and A+."
"So, B and C are bad, and A and A+ are good?"

"No, not at all. All these grades are good. A+, A, B and C. All are good grades."
"But will you be upset if I get B for this next time?"

How do I explain to him that I want to appreciate his good grades, but that doesn't mean I worry about the low grades? 
How do I make him understand that the grades are only feedback from the teacher to the parents?
How do I make him understand that everything is not about 'good' or 'bad', and most of the things in life lie somewhere between the two?

* * * 

"Aren't you my dearest child!"
"What about R and N?"

"Yes, I love them too."
"But R is your most favourite, right?"

"No, nothing like that. You three are like my own children. But of course you are my actual son, R's and N's  Mothers will protect and help them more than I do, so when you need me I will be the one who helps you, *blah blah blah*... why don't you go to sleep?"

How do I explain to him that all his friends are like my own children but there is something about him that makes him special to me?
That I sometimes praise the other children because I want to make them feel comfortable?
How do I make him understand that people can love many people in different ways - and it is not just about 'like' or 'dislike', there are things in between the two?
How do I make him understand that if there is such a list of loved ones, he would definitely top my list, but that does not mean I dislike the rest?


  1. Nice blog Jeena. But I would like to rename it as 'childhood dilemma'. When A+ is wonderful, defenitely C becomes poor. Kids can easily read this from our expressions, though we try hard not to reveal it. And there is nothing wrong about telling the child that he/she needs to work better for the subject with C.

  2. Thanks for visiting, Sita, and thanks for your insightful comment too!