Friday, July 18, 2014

Things Hollywood tells us about America

(Forgive us, America. Hollywood is to blame.)

Men help with the dishes after dinner.
If you see trainloads of Indian women flocking to the US to get married, don't be surprised.

Hollywood explains why there are so many break-ups in the US of A, compared to India. The breakup tagline is: "We're in a relationship. We are supposed to be honest with each other."
Ha! No, I mean, HahahahaHAHAHA.

Broke people in America are better dressed (and better-off) than a well-dressed, average, employed Indian who considers himself well-off. (They look for jobs on the Internet using their laptops.)
It's the third world poverty thing.

Living with your parents is a crime.
Corollary: Parents, in general, are psychotic, abnormal, annoying torturers you should keep away from (and should be visited only on Thanksgiving and Christmas.)
To think, in Bollywood, men go out of their way to show how much they love their parents and take care of them. Tears start pouring out the moment they think of their Moms. 

Nice, romantic, sweet men, so madly in love with their women, pack their bags and leave the moment their girls break up with them. (There's another job waiting for them in a city far far away.)
Yeah, that sort of thing is common out here too, (only) on celluloid. Such weaklings.

Then it rains all of a sudden, drenching the guy / girl or both.
Bollywood too, Bollywood too. Same pinch.

We hear there is a lot of obesity over yonder but, by God, look at all the gorgeous men and women, where has obesity gone to? Oh yes, the comedian friend of the hero's could be it.
Observation: Newspapers can be very misleading.

India means 'curry' or 'Mumbai' or 'Gandhi'.
The Bangalorean Malayali is deeply offended that they do not know the bisi bele bhat. Or at least puttum kadalayum.

They drink (and seem to prefer) tap water. Eyes popping out. Did you say TAP water? 

Being a virgin is to be frowned upon. No comments. Wink, wink.

Says 'I'm good' (Says who, eh?) and 'I am not judging you' and 'not a big deal'. That's cool. 

They are paranoid about anything that doesn't look like them or talk like them.
Heh! Americans! But that attitude inspired one great Indian movie, My Name is Khan. So, we're good.

They can wear anything (or not wear anything) and still look great. Sigh.

Burgers and fries are their idea of a meal. So when they crave junk food, they go Indian?


They are The Inscrutable Americans, as one wise Indian once said.

I tremble to imagine what Bollywood would tell you about us...

6 comments:

  1. So, there is no heaven on earth? No ideal place to live in? I hate life :P

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Haha... the ideal place is a myth!!! :D

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  2. Hahahaha this is an excelllent one..! And spot on !.Just today morning I was watching Mr and Mrs Smith and it got me thinking half of the population are spies and they all look like supermodels !

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    1. Yeah.. but Jolie is quite something, isn't she!! (Sigh again.)

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